Sometimes dreams really do come true, but often they don’t come in the way that you expect. As we started our family, there were lots of ups and downs in seeing those children come to life. With two successful pregnancies and then losing three babies, we thought our family was complete. Then in 1999, I was delighted to discover I was expecting a little girl. Once I passed my first trimester, we thought it was “safe” to announce my pregnancy. Sadly, during a regular check-up, I was told that there was no heartbeat and my baby was dead. I gave birth to Jordy, several days later. I was changed forever that day. My grief was horrible and I struggled with God’s goodness. However, through the support of many friends and lots of searching of the scriptures and prayer, I weathered that storm and God taught me so much about Himself. God healed me of the pain and I am stronger today because of it.
Early in our marriage, Jim and I had spent two summers in China and had developed a love for Chinese people. We were aware of the many female infants who needed homes. I couldn’t get them out of my mind. I approached Jim with the idea of adopting from China. Although he loved the idea, there was a major obstacle in the way- we had no money and Chinese babies don’t come cheap! After lots of processing and prayer and with the enthusiastic approval of our boys, we decided to move ahead with the understanding that if the money wasn’t there we would not go into debt to continue. I was fearful of being disappointed, but I could not give up this dream. I moved ahead in the extremely daunting task of completing all the paperwork to get our little girl. Finally, the point came when we needed about $3,000, and it wasn’t there. I was heart- broken that my dream may have come to an end, so our whole family just continued to pray.
A dear friend was in the hospital and I took some food to her house. She returned the dish with a thank you note that I didn’t even have a chance to open until the next day. In it was a check for $3,000 and a note that God had told her to give us this money. When I opened it, I screamed and ran downstairs and asked my sons, “Do you believe God answers prayer? Look at this!” I still remember our youngest son, Troy, shouting “We get her! We get her!” What a great testimony to all of us of God’s love and care! A few months later, we discovered that a dear, elderly cousin who had been single all her life, had passed away and left us some money which was enough to pay for the rest of the adoption. When does that happen in real life?
I could go on and on about the many acts of God throughout this miraculous process, but let me just end by saying that on August 31, 2003, we finally got our sweet daughter Lindy. She fits into our family like a hand in a glove. She is a daily reminder of God’s love for us. The joy that she brings all of us is endless and we can’t imagine life without her.
Last April 8, Lindy accompanied me to Jordy’s grave where I go to remember my sweet daughter who waits for us in heaven. We had a long talk about how Lindy has a sister. I am not sure that I could have fought so hard to get Lindy if I had not been hurt so deeply by the pain of Jordy. It is all part of the tapestry of life that God is weaving. Sometimes nightmares happen and sometimes dreams really do come true. But I know that God is good all the time.
Written by Jan Miller